My regards to Cheney!

Monkeyturd here. Since I retired I have been a student of politics. I have formed some deeply-felt opinions, but I'm a man of few words. I like to condense my comments into the most succinct, pertinent form possible. Here is my assessment of Dick Cheney, as a Vice President, as well as a person.

Monkeyturd, over and out.

Ouch!

I was fishing in the canal out back and I caught an Elbow-Fish. Damn! It didn't fight much but hurt like hell. Nick, my Personal Assistant helped me when I needed him most. Someday I'm gonna give him a raise.

Monkeyturd

Whazzit?

Anyone know what kind of animal this is? Monkeyturd found him sleeping in the sugar jar? He didn't seem aggressive, even though he was pretty big. Do these things eat much? Can you teach them to walk on a leash or do tricks? HELP!

Monkeyturd

Monkeyturd in a prior life

This is a painting of me, in my prior life as a Pittsburgh steelworker.

The painting was expertly executed by an exciting young disciple who I affectionately call "Meaty" (he always pertly replies, "But, but my real name is Floyd!")

A steel mill is a hellish place to work, but many have had to do hard things to live.

Me takee deepee sleepee!

This is me taking a little nap after a hard day doin' stuff. Nick, my personal assistant is trying his darnedest to rouse me, but, alas, I have escaped to dreamland and resist any urge to leave.

As the Bard once wrote, "Sleep....... that knits up the raveled sleeve of care!"

The trap is set! As you can see, I have become expert at ridding the house of any pesky Bluebottle flies that may, by any chance, escape the lethal flypaper I have hanging about.

Monkeyturd

Monkeyturd the Biker

Here's me tryin' out a new chopper. I'm grittin' my teeth and sneering because my Jockey's are too tight. Ouch!

Me likee the new bikee, but I couldn't afford it on Social Security.

Check this OUT!

Look for these in your neighborhood.